1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,531 Hey, Mona, guess what I've got. 2 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,033 A good excuse for being an hour late? 3 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,399 Nope. Still working on one. 4 00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,746 Now close your eyes. 5 00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,575 I want to put something in your hand. 6 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,473 You know, I fell for that when we were in college, 7 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,751 but this time I'm a lot more willing to point and laugh. 8 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,799 Pshh! Ok, fine. 9 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,199 Got you this. 10 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:22,412 Happy birthday. 11 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,830 But it's not until the end of the week. 12 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,419 I was so excited I couldn't wait. 13 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,513 I finally got the perfect gift. 14 00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,072 Great, 'cause I was afraid 15 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,529 I'd end up with something I have a million of, 16 00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,082 like bath salts or scented candles. 17 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,513 Oh, bath salts and scented candles! 18 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,865 Good morning, play-ahs. 19 00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,482 Man, that's the last time 20 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,873 I listen to you about a gift idea. 21 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,477 Ooh, bath salts and scented candles! 22 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,309 You want it? 23 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:52,047 Why do you think I told him to get this for you? 24 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:59,276 ♪ Through this journey of discovery ♪ 25 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:03,373 ♪ you're finding you, I'm finding me ♪ 26 00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:06,544 ♪ now that I have someone special ♪ 27 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,761 ♪ who brings out the joy ♪ 28 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:09,901 ♪ brings out the joy ♪ 29 00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:13,292 ♪ inside of me ♪ 30 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:14,767 ♪ we can become whatever we want ♪ 31 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,817 ♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪ 32 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,343 ♪ that's the way I feel it should be ♪ 33 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,039 ♪ you and me ♪ 34 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:26,386 [Off-key] ♪ me ♪ 35 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,347 Ooh. Heh heh. 36 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,045 ♪ Just kick it, Whoo ♪ 37 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:44,103 How long you been standing there? 38 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,891 Long enough to appreciate the fact 39 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,755 that we're only half sisters. 40 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,236 'Cause my half has rhythm. 41 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,627 And you entered my apartment without permission because... 42 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,641 We have birthdays coming up. 43 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,383 I thought we should talk giftage. 44 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,404 Well, how about you don't give me a gift this year 45 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,602 and I won't give you one? 46 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,425 Not get me a gift? 47 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,393 Oh, Mona. 48 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,342 Now, remember, 49 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,739 my birthstone is diamond. 50 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,042 No, it's not. 51 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,608 Mother had it legally changed. 52 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,825 Dee Dee, really, I don't need anything. 53 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,865 Oh, I beg to differ. 54 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,140 Come on. 55 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,593 All right, there's one thing I can use. 56 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:18,825 Can you get me a man? 57 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,051 That's it! That's the gift. 58 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,971 I'm getting you a man for your birthday. 59 00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:26,485 Ok, I was joking... sort of. 60 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:29,891 Once again I've pulled inspiration from your pain. 61 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,325 In fact, let's make it a man exchange. 62 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,983 I mean, our usual way of finding guys isn't working, 63 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:38,457 so we'll find each other dates for our birthday. 64 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,659 Dee Dee, you couldn't even begin to know 65 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,511 what type of man I like. 66 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,726 I have been paying attention for the last 2 years. 67 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,596 You're attracted to underemployed, 68 00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,078 poorly-dressed, musky bohemians 69 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,558 with emotional issues. 70 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,648 Wow, you have been paying attention. 71 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,258 And if you're half as good as I am, 72 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,440 you'll find someone wonderful for me. 73 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,176 I say the challenge is on. 74 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,047 And I accept. 75 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,137 Bring on the jobless, 76 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,265 dysfunctional man of my dreams. 77 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:08,058 I can't believe my baby girl is turning 22 this year. 78 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:11,634 I'm turning 24. 79 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,373 Impossible. 80 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,854 I never would've had a child at the tender age of 15. 81 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,895 15? Come on, mother. 82 00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:23,072 If the dmv buys it, so will you. 83 00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,289 And for your big 2-2, 84 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:28,899 I am giving you this. 85 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:34,081 A picture of cissy and Whitney Houston? 86 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,220 Well, I didn't have one. 87 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:39,183 No, no, the gift is portraiture. 88 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,482 A mother-daughter sitting. 89 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:45,048 Our beauty and style captured for all time. 90 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,013 That is a great idea. 91 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:51,707 Hey, what if we were to make it all us girls? 92 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:54,186 Me, you, and the maids? 93 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:58,057 No. Me, you, Mona, and Phyllis. 94 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,590 A mother-daughter, mother-daughter portrait. 95 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:04,195 Do you think that's fair to Phyllis? 96 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:06,993 I mean, 97 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,862 after they airbrush out her imperfections, 98 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,124 all that will be left is a set of caps 99 00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,817 and 10 acrylic nails. 100 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,348 Mom, it's time you accept that we're a family. 101 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:21,352 And what better gift for your 22-year-old daughter, 102 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:27,005 who won't blow the whistle at the dmv if you agree? 103 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,722 I can not believe you'd be so manipulative 104 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,176 simply to get something you want. 105 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,711 Baby makes mama proud. 106 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:37,232 It's about time your sister helped you find a man, 107 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,670 'cause the rest of us are tapped out. 108 00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,925 Thanks, ma. 109 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,291 But if this one should turn out to be yet another dud, 110 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,982 just know that I'm here for you. 111 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,989 Longing for the comfort only a grandchild could give me, 112 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,602 but here for you just the same. 113 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,253 And here I am, longing for unconditional love, 114 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,908 but happy to take what you give me. 115 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,524 [Knock on door] 116 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,174 Hey, I pride myself on letting you live your own life. 117 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,439 I mean, what kind of overbearing freak of a mother 118 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:09,222 is always trying to control her daughter's every move? 119 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,659 Hello, hello! 120 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,969 Why, Phyllis, that ensemble. 121 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,922 You certainly have a way with fabric. 122 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:20,321 You know how to just stretch it till is screams for mercy. 123 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,057 You mean like Charles does 124 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,447 when you lean down to pick him up? 125 00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,944 Mothers! 126 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:27,942 Ahem. 127 00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,463 Play nice. 128 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:30,896 Mona, Phyllis, 129 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,592 in honor of my birthday, 130 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,860 mom is getting me a present that also involves you. 131 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,493 All of a sudden, I'm seeing us with aprons, 132 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,860 hair nets, and serving trays. 133 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,947 I would like to invite you to join us in a sitting 134 00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,296 for a mother-daughter portrait. 135 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,865 A photograph? 136 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,302 I didn't think your kind showed up on film. 137 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,909 Ma, it's a very generous offer. 138 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,440 So thank you. It sounds like fun. 139 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,655 Not so fast. 140 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,833 I'm not sure I want to spend eternity 141 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:57,789 trapped in a picture with wig-on-a-stick. 142 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,229 Why not, Phyllis? 143 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:04,355 Worried you can't compete with all this? 144 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,020 Oh, please! 145 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,106 I will blow you so far off the proof sheet 146 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:13,365 it'll take lo-Jack to find your image. 147 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,384 Bring it. 148 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,121 Ooh! 149 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:24,822 Ooh, a 20. 150 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,076 Back off, vulture. 151 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,128 It's not gonna work this time. 152 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,483 So I finally got it right. 153 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,263 You can't go wrong with cash. 154 00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:35,347 Actually, you can, 'cause I loaned you 400 last week. 155 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:38,218 Where do you think I got that? 156 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:43,230 So, when do you get the packagefrom Dee Dee? 157 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,915 Tonight. She's bringing him over at 7:00. 158 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,539 Have you found a guy for Dee Dee yet? 159 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,283 No. I'm waiting to see if the guy she found for me 160 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:52,275 lives across the golden gate bridge or under it. 161 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:55,588 That way I'll know how high the bar's been set. 162 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,386 Well, when you're ready to look, maybe I can help. 163 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,287 I know half the guys in San Francisco. 164 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:04,636 It's the other half she's looking for. 165 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,083 [Knock on door] 166 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,090 Ok. Your birthday present is right outside. 167 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,223 Do I get to unwrap him? 168 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,085 Only if the date goes really well. 169 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,526 [Giggles] 170 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,573 Mona Thorne, your date for this evening 171 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:24,968 is a sexy, single, well-established architect. 172 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,013 He's athletic, loves RandB, 173 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,408 gourmet cooking, and his mama. 174 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,752 [Laughs] 175 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:34,151 Say hello to... 176 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,496 James Lewis. 177 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,200 Wow. 178 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,715 Wow yourself. 179 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,808 Your p.R. Woman told me a lot of 180 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:45,989 good things about you. 181 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,604 Well, it's easy when it's all true. 182 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,985 Well, I've done my part. 183 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,909 We'll let nature do the rest. 184 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,654 Happy birthday, sis. 185 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,478 Come on in. 186 00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,735 Is it really your birthday? 187 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,657 'Cause i... i feel like it's mine. 188 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:06,013 Dee Dee made you say that, didn't she? 189 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,234 That depends. Did you like it? 190 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,355 I did. 191 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,226 Then it was all me. 192 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,104 I made dinner reservations for us at 8:00. 193 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,451 We should probably go. 194 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,110 So is it weird for you, 195 00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,764 agreeing to be someone's present? 196 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,498 No. I thought it was an original way for a blind date. Why? 197 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,680 You aren't thinking of returning me, are you? 198 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:26,916 No. You're one of the few gifts 199 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,641 I'm actually thinking about keeping. 200 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,378 Finally! 201 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:36,991 Tell me everything. How did it go? 202 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,401 What did you and James talk about? 203 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,000 I didn't hear a word he said. 204 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,374 I was too busy trying to figure out 205 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,830 how to fit his furniture into my apartment. 206 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,184 And the best part is... 207 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,703 He asked me out again. 208 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,658 Ooh. 209 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,875 I knew my method would work. 210 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:54,836 I used the kaiser-hillman psychological profile, 211 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,185 combined with a credit check, 212 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,604 matched against a retail preference database. 213 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,194 It is my foolproof 214 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:02,717 find-a-man screening system. Patent pending. 215 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,463 It doesn't always work. 216 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,814 Need I remind you of Mr. Foot fetish? 217 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:10,384 That's why the patent's pending. 218 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,508 Dee Dee, thank you for all the trouble 219 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,702 you went through for my birthday. 220 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,117 It's no more trouble 221 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,836 than I'm sure you're going through for me, 222 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,510 and since my dating standards are higher, 223 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,341 I know your job is much, much harder. 224 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,687 Only 2 more days. 225 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,610 I can't wait to meet the guy you got for me. 226 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,696 [Door closes] 227 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,394 Neither can I. 228 00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,488 Look, Tony, I know it's short notice, 229 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,364 but I am desperate to find a date for my sister, and I just... 230 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,616 Oh. Well, do you think your new wife would mind 231 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:43,539 if you went on just one date with... 232 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,276 Boy, is she clingy. 233 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,367 [Knock on door] 234 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,588 Hey. 235 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,195 I was just on the phone with your perfect guy. 236 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,636 Oh. About that. 237 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,422 Since James already asked you out, 238 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:57,156 I thought that it would be great if we all went out together. 239 00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,988 That way, I get to spend my birthday with my sister 240 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,467 and the incredible hook-up she found for me. 241 00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,728 Our first double. Yay! 242 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,741 Yay! 243 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,218 Phyllis. Good news about the photo shoot. 244 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,441 The photographer does have a wide-angle lens, 245 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,680 so I am certain that we can fit 246 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,966 almost all of you into the picture. 247 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:27,018 And I thought you'd be getting some extra beauty rest. 248 00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:31,204 Shouldn't you be in your coffin avoiding the sun? 249 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,632 I'm on my way to a final fitting for my designer gown. 250 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,130 I assumed you've already glued the sequins 251 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:39,456 onto the burlap sack you'll be squeezing into. 252 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,081 For your information, stilts, 253 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,823 I have got a gorgeous outfit. 254 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:48,595 I am more than prepared for this photo shoot. 255 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:50,914 I got nothing for the photo shoot! 256 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,348 What do you got?! I'm desperate! 257 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:55,484 What?! What you got? What, what, what?! 258 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,135 Ok. Here's where we are. 259 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,565 It's Dee Dee's birthday. 260 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,072 I have to be at a photo shoot in 30 minutes, 261 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,598 and our dinner dates are right after that, 262 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,581 so I'm out of time, and I'm out of options. 263 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,277 You're also out of jelly bellies. 264 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:14,325 But this might not be the best time to bring it up. 265 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,202 I swore that I would never do this, 266 00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,594 but I am begging you guys. 267 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,087 I need a man for Dee Dee... A great man. 268 00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,333 Someone who makes me look like 269 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,958 the caring sister I want her to think I am. 270 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,155 I'm not spending my day looking for some dude. 271 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,688 Well, if you do it right, it won't take the whole day. 272 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:30,654 Oh, you're doing it. 273 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,843 Especially since you still owe me 274 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,205 a present for my birthday. 275 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,911 So, if I found a perfect guy for Dee Dee, 276 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,589 it would be the perfect gift from me to you? 277 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:38,999 Sure, and just to be clear: 278 00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,259 The guy ain't you. 279 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,657 Now get out there and find my sister a date. 280 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,577 Hooray! We're going on a man-hunt. 281 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:57,372 J'arrive! 282 00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,548 Not the boa. 283 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:03,642 It was inappropriate for my ballet recitals, 284 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,163 and it's inappropriate now. 285 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:09,727 Just call me... "The boss." 286 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:13,726 Just call me when this is over. 287 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:17,950 Ladies, please get into position. 288 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:22,833 How's my makeup? 289 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,696 You did the best you could. 290 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:26,878 So did you. 291 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,573 I didn't realize Chanel made spackle. 292 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:35,542 Mom, thanks for agreeing to do the picture with all of us. 293 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,454 I did it because I love you. 294 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,759 Happy birthday, dear. 295 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,975 Now get out of mother's light. 296 00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:46,158 Photographer: Ok, ladies, on 3. 297 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,723 1, 2, 3. 298 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,653 Spencer, you were supposed to be here half an hour ago. 299 00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,218 I'm sorry. Just as we were leaving, 300 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:08,735 junebug got a call from his probation officer. 301 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,179 Everything is cool now. 302 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:15,228 Hey. Where the rich girl at? 303 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,966 Junebug? Probation officer? 304 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:20,317 What should I give Dee Dee next year, conjugal visits? 305 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,148 [Sighs] Maybe she'll like junebug. 306 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,716 I mean, they have a lot in common. 307 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,463 Dee Dee likes gold. 308 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,633 He's got 2 gold teeth. 309 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,112 She's gonna be a lawyer. 310 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,160 He's gonna need a lawyer. 311 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:36,213 Hey. I came up with one more option than you did. 312 00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,563 You're dismissed. Adam is my only hope. 313 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:42,433 Here I come to save the day! 314 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:47,299 Hello, Dee Dee. The name is Oscar. 315 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,001 I know what you're thinking, 316 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:53,699 and yes, you are one lucky lady. 317 00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,139 Wait. 318 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:56,095 I'm not Dee Dee, 319 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,533 but this about as close 320 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,839 as you're gonna get to her. 321 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,276 What's she talking about, Adam? 322 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:04,322 Doesn't she know I'm a professional athlete? 323 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:07,278 I played in Romania for half a season. 324 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:10,678 All the ladies want some of o. 325 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,032 Sorry, o. 326 00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,382 Adam, get real. The guy is a jerk. 327 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,202 And that is not gonna line up with that. 328 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:20,290 It all evens out when you're lying down. 329 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:23,511 True dat. 330 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,391 Everybody out! 331 00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:31,783 I know you're not talking about junebug. 332 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,481 Especially junebug. 333 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,569 Ok. 334 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:40,844 If idiots could fly, 335 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,623 this would be a freakin' airport. 336 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,542 Hey, everybody. 337 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,315 Hey, Mona. Good to see you again. 338 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,720 You, too. 339 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,282 Ok, so... Your awesome guy is here. 340 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,370 Where's mine? 341 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,195 He's parking the car 342 00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,766 'cause he didn't want the valets 343 00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:02,254 to mess with his new Ferrari. 344 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:06,557 Not just a Ferrari, a new Ferrari? 345 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:09,134 And that's not even his good car. 346 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:13,172 Damn, that brother's making me look bad. 347 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,480 Who can I call? Oh, god. 348 00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,566 Excuse me. 349 00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:17,741 I notice you talking 350 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,439 to that attractive woman at that table? 351 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,137 Wow, you're fast. 352 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,805 Yes, she's my sister. Would you like to meet her? 353 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,095 Would you like to have dinner with her? I can arrange it. 354 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,536 Well, it looks like she's already on a date. 355 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,363 That's my date James. 356 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,891 Oh, so the brother's with you. 357 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,024 Yes, and you can save her from being a third wheel. 358 00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:35,237 So, what do you say? 359 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,195 And I am not above offering cash. 360 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,504 I say I'm interested. I'm Brendan. 361 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,200 Great! Her name is Dee Dee. 362 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:42,378 It's her birthday, 363 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,863 and you and I set this up a week ago 364 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,533 'cause you're a friend of a friend of mine 365 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,733 from Fresno, got it? 366 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,646 Does it have to be Fresno? 367 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:51,562 Yes. 368 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:52,906 Now, one last thing. 369 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,775 Have you ever done time, ever cross-dressed, 370 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,426 and who is Isaac Mizrahi? 371 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,840 No, only once when I was pledging, 372 00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,443 and doesn't he have a discount line at target? 373 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,744 You are so in! 374 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,621 You just won yourself a Dee Dee. 375 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,232 Come on down! 376 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,883 Yeah, man. I've travelled all over the world. 377 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,618 You know, I enjoyed Thailand the best, though, 378 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,709 'cause it's just so rich in culture, you know? 379 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:16,848 He likes culture. 380 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,462 I love you. 381 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,373 I'm a bit of a world traveler myself. 382 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,808 I've never been out of the states, 383 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:26,254 but I spent some time in New Orleans, 384 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,993 Vegas, L.A. 385 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,115 A lot of time in L.A. 386 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,596 I actually lived there for a while. 387 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,056 Have you lived there in the last 5 years? 388 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,949 Yeah, I was kickin' it in the palisades 389 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:39,037 till last June. Why? 390 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,348 That's prime laker's time. 391 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,434 You know, I'm a huge fan. 392 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,998 Me, too. 393 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,483 They're both Lakers fans. 394 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,311 Is that amazing? 395 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,969 Uh, excuse me, gentlemen. 396 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,234 While you talk sports, 397 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,546 I'm going to go to the ladies' room. 398 00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:55,708 Mona, join me? 399 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,577 Oh, right behind you. 400 00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,628 You know, girls, always have to go to the bathroom in twos. 401 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,145 Sort of like Noah's ark. 402 00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,808 Ha ha ha. 403 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,032 Go Lakers! 404 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,482 I'm glad you wanted to go to the bathroom. 405 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,514 I really had to go, 406 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,292 but I didn't wanna miss anything. 407 00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:18,337 Dee Dee: I am so impressed with Brendan. 408 00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,428 [Flushes] 409 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,964 He's smart, funny... 410 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,744 [Flushes] 411 00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:27,958 And I'm trying to find a way 412 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:32,437 to accidently touch his pecs. 413 00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,619 [Flushes] Aah! 414 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:36,836 Mona, are you ok? 415 00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:40,315 Yes, but technology won't let me pee. 416 00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,927 Just hold the seat cover down till you're down. 417 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,889 Mona: Thanks. 418 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:52,201 You found such the perfect guy for me. 419 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:55,678 It must've taken you so much time and effort. 420 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:59,900 You have no idea. 421 00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,398 Alakazam! 422 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:28,024 Dee Dee, I have another problem. 423 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,017 Just open the door and it'll flush. 424 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,500 [Flushes] 425 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,597 Ah, man. This is crazy. You set me up. 426 00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:39,862 Look at them. 427 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,564 Getting overheated about sports. 428 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:42,902 That is so adorable. 429 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,911 Adorable my ass. This brother's a detective. 430 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,134 I just got served with divorce papers. 431 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,434 I'm sorry, man. That's my job. 432 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,999 I just needed to confirm you were 433 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,086 who I thought you were. 434 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,571 Wait a minute. You're married? 435 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,284 Let's just say he had a series of marriages 436 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:56,458 that kind of... what's the word? 437 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,273 Overlapped. 438 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,274 You say, "overlapped." I say, "over-loved." 439 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,681 I guess putting them in the same apartment building 440 00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,227 was a mistake. 441 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:09,538 What can I say? I got lazy. 442 00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,463 Hey, Dee Dee, look, I'm sorry about tonight. 443 00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:16,943 Um, but I'd love the chance to make it up to you. 444 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,675 Maybe dinner next Friday? 445 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,117 Well... ok. 446 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,824 I see I passed the pec test. 447 00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,603 Hey, Mona, I'm sorry about... 448 00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,298 Unh. 449 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,430 Mona, I'm so sorry it turned out this way. 450 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,220 Please, don't be. 451 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:36,874 It was destined to go down like this. 452 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,078 It's only natural that I would end up with a bigamist, 453 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,404 and you'd end up with Mr. Perky pecs. 454 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:45,104 Next year, if Brendan and I aren't married, 455 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,144 we can try this again. 456 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:51,279 And maybe you can try a little harder. 457 00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,894 Ladies! 458 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,495 I see you all alone. 459 00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,975 How'd you like to buy junebug a drink? 460 00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:04,331 Wow. I look beautiful in this. 461 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,290 This must've been my best hair day ever. 462 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,560 But... look at my mom. 463 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,253 And my mother looks so... 464 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,341 [Both shudder] 465 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,432 Well, the good news is 466 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,239 we have our Halloween costumes for this year. 467 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,310 I'll go as your mom and you go as mine. 468 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:22,834 Do I have to wear the boa? 469 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,827 Do you want to scare people or not? 470 00:20:24,877 --> 00:20:29,427 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0